


I'd Like to Say I'm Okay, But I'm Not

by PrincessAmonRae



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, post Dalen's Closet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 01:21:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20574119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessAmonRae/pseuds/PrincessAmonRae
Summary: "How are we going to explain to your father that we've managed to elope again? Are we going to have to pay extra for those vampire attacks? Should we even risk having the reception before we weigh the risk of another attack from another enemy we probably have floating around?" These are things that he’s been considering, but these questions certainly aren’t heavy enough concepts to keep him awake, ignore the exhaustion that drags on his bones."We'll just have our weapons at the reception, and we already paid extra insurance for monster attacks in advance if you'll recall," Vex says simply with a shrug. "As for my father we can just tell him that we had to push up the wedding on account of me nearly drowning.""Nearly-- YoudiedVex'ahlia." The words aren't a bellow, or a shout, but they are steel, sharp and cold enough to tear him apart from the inside out. Vex blinks at him as Percy fists his hands in the blankets. This is what has been keeping him awake, there’s no question about it, these terrible thoughts he hadn’t let himself think. "You died again dammit. You died again and it would have been my fault again. And Itauntedhim about being bored."





	I'd Like to Say I'm Okay, But I'm Not

"You know the entire point of a wedding night is that after you are too exhausted to move," Vex drawls lightly from her side of the bed. Percy laughs lightly and smiles at her, all the teasing melting from him as he takes in how beautiful she looks, only half awake and sleep rumpled. 

"Yes, well technically we've already done a wedding night," he says after he is done admiring his wife, and she shoves him slightly. 

"Then we should be doubly better at it," she says with a saucy grin as she props herself up on her elbow before her smile flutters away and her face goes soft and understanding. "Why are you up darling?" 

"I got caught up in my thoughts I suppose," Percy says, and though he has been thinking for the past several hours, he isn't quite sure what's keeping him up. 

"What thoughts are those?" 

"How are we going to explain to your father that we've managed to elope again? Are we going to have to pay extra for those vampire attacks? Should we even risk having the reception before we weigh the risk of another attack from another enemy we probably have floating around?" These are things that he’s been considering, but these questions certainly aren’t heavy enough concepts to keep him awake, ignore the exhaustion that drags on his bones. 

"We'll just have our weapons at the reception, and we already paid extra insurance for monster attacks in advance if you'll recall," Vex says simply with a shrug. "As for my father we can just tell him that we had to push up the wedding on account of me nearly drowning." 

"Nearly-- You _died_ Vex'ahlia." The words aren't a bellow, or a shout, but they are steel, sharp and cold enough to tear him apart from the inside out. Vex blinks at him as Percy fists his hands in the blankets. This is what has been keeping him awake, there’s no question about it, these terrible thoughts he hadn’t let himself think. "You died again dammit. You died again and it would have been my fault again. And I _taunted_ him about being bored."

"Sylas was as much my enemy as yours. He wanted me dead for Delilah just as much as he did you. It wasn't your fault Percy. Besides Pike was there," she says comfortingly and rests her hand on top of his.

"And if she hadn't been?" Those words scrape out of Percy's throat and he looks at Vex desperately as he cradles her hands in his. "I do not know how to do this without you Vex'ahlia. Not anymore. I do not know who I would be and that makes me very afraid."

For a moment Vex looks like she's going to speak before she simply smooths her thumbs over Percy's skin with a deep understanding glimmering in her eyes. He clutches at her desperately, taking as much support as he can get as he takes a few breaths to steady himself enough to continue.

"I have always maintained that without you I would have been a villain, not a hero. And if I lost you, I don't know if I would still be a hero, if I could keep that part of me alive." As he finishes Vex gives him the _look_, the look she gives him when she thinks he is the most lovable idiot she's ever met.

"Of course, you could, because you have Vesper. I know that after your family and mine you could never be anything but a hero to her. And I know that you could because you have changed, we all have. We aren't who we were when we started Vox Machina." Vex gently shakes Percy's grip off her hands and reaches up to cup his face as she smiles at him. "Besides I didn't fall in love with a hero, I fell in love with a man who flirted with me through arrows, who gave me a title just so I would feel better when I faced my father again. Who came back to me and stayed with me. That's the man who I married."

"See how utterly hopeless I would be without you?" Percy says as he leans into Vex's touch. "Sorry for being foolish, I suppose it just hit me all of a sudden."

"It wasn't foolish. I wouldn't have reacted much better if the situations had been reversed and I don’t think that you would let me call myself foolish," Vex says soothingly before Percy dips his head to kiss her.

"Aren’t I supposed to be the genius? Goodness, I love you," Percy says, words teasing at first but quickly softening, when they break.

"I love you too." She gives him a wicked grin. "Now I have a proposal for you."

“Oh?” Percy arches a brow at her as he steadies her automatically when she swings herself up into his lap.

“How do you feel about being too exhausted to speak to my father tomorrow and giving Vesper a sibling?” She askes as she kisses him deeply.

"Darling you have the best ideas."

XXXX

Tary, Scanlan and Pike have an absolutely marvellous morning giving Syldor the run around about while Grog unrepentantly hogs little Vesper and Keyleth organizes a mid afternoon reception out of the remains of the rehearsal dinner just as the once again newly wedded couple stumble downstairs.

**Author's Note:**

> The wedding gave me a lot of emotions okay? And where else am I going to spew my emotions? To my friends?  
I think not so here you guys go.  
Hope you enjoyed!


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